If someone continues to feel lonely even in the presence of others, it is likely that the loneliness is a symptom of something greater than companionship.  Call it and existential loneliness, but the point being that it is the psyches way of letting you know that something needs your attention.

Most people logically try to counter these feelings by keeping busy and spending more time with others.  I think this is exactly why the feeling can continue.  It needs you to stop, and listen.  Really surrender to the feeling.  Lean into it, and see what it really feels like in your body to be you and be lonely.  Once you stop trying to "fix" it, you will often find that by just relaxing into it and giving it it's honor, you will have more clarity about what is really going on.

Just like our bodies feel pain, so that we know something is hurting, our emotional bodies do the same.  It is so hard to sit with these feelings, but we have erroneously led ourselves to believe that we are supposed to avoid pain at all costs.  Ironically, it is this pain that leads to joy, when it is given it's fair voice.  Otherwise we delay and/or continue the pain. 

As simplistic as I make it sound, I know that it is difficult and by no means trivial.

It takes so much inner strength and courage to make a decision to let somebody go, to set them free.
I think it's one of the hardest things to do in life.

This is a very sad song, yet such a beautiful song.
Should have been a number 1 hit.
I know the chart doesn't really matter at the end of the day, but yeah. I love the whole build up in this song.
Mariah Carey is a very vulnerable woman,
she's so beautiful in every way.

Today I realize that specific/detailed planning only cause anxiety which results to being pressured and ultimately, restless and achieving sense of non-fulfillment.

Plan only the "general/material" parts.

I am still amazed when things will go in their natural course of things and usually favorable to my part.

But of course, be sensitive to the turn of events.

If It calls for the striking of the iron, NEVER HESITATE.

Also, It never fails to bestow kindness to everyone.

It seems simple enough; either you trust someone or you don't.  They are worthy or they're not.  If you're smart, you'll be just fine.

Except it isn't that simple.

I don't trust easily if at all.  For a good portion of my life, I thought it was because there were too many untrustworthy people.  I've always trusted (there's that damn word again!) my intuition about people, and I've rarely been wrong.

But there it is:  I expected certain things from people, and I got exactly what I expected.  I vibrated certain expectations, and they delivered.  Now, that doesn't mean that we would have ever been best buddies or that they wouldn't provide a "contrast" for me. 

So then, what is trust?  Ultimately, it's about trusting ME.  It's about trusting that no matter what, I can handle whatever comes my way and use it as a lesson, a gift, to move me closer to what I desire. 

One of my intentions for this year is to work on trusting myself because I know my lack of trust is holding me apart from what I want.  It's what keeps me from speaking out, it's what keeps me from letting others close to me, it's what keeps me from going as far as I'd like in taking risks.

I have to know that no matter what, I'm okay, and then expect it all to be okay. 

The thoughts that I should conform to one thing or another. Conditioning.

It's an attack on who I am, aimed at taking my personal freedom away.

From the inside, banal living feels comfortable.

Then in the first few moments of real recognition a sense of imprisonment setting in and growing until the upheaval and readjustment is more desirable than living in cramp.

What is your greatest enemy?

This is my Lucky Day, Sh#t happens.
I was in prison an hour ago.
Yes, I'm trapped in my bedroom!
I was stuck for 10 minutes in my own room.
My f*cking doorknob won't turn much either way and won't come unlatched and it's unlocked.

I didn't panic. There's no reason to panic.
Worst comes to worst,
l will use my flying kick technique just to open the door. LOL
I have never been in situation like this
except in a bathroom without any clothes.
I can't believe I got trapped. *Napatulala*
I took a deep breath. I am not in any sort of danger.
Well, I sleep in my room and doing some naughty stuffs. *grin*
I just gave myself to think things through on
"How can I get out of my room?"
I've tried to call my two sisters but DAMN they're still dreaming.
To cut the story short.
I went online. Lucky Me! Downstairs, my other sister --
was too busy playing her Farmville on Facebook.
I sent her a message to help me out.
***
She used her card [Mercury Sulit Card to be precise] like Robbers Do -- then she slides it where the latch slides into the slot that will push the latch open.
Oh, Sweet Freedom! Thanks to my sister = )
And Boy, I really need to replace my old doorknob!

Escape the room game is over!

I am big now but still not fully grown.
I can be mature, in control of my emotions and responsible. I do not have that sense of completion of my education yet.
Still searching and applying the lessons to my life. I'm thinking I will still have student status. The fact that I still believe in Angels has nothing to do with adulthood, only that I haven't lost the precious gift of childhood. I imagine that once I have mastered these lessons and exercises in life-craft,  I will shortly thereafter be graduated to a new class and new tests. 
Meanwhile, I'm not in the hurry I once was, half the fun is getting there.

Worthy Reads [Entry from my old Blog]
* Sometime is Missing in My Life
* What the Music Speaks the Heart Listens
* The Whole Idea of Sitting in a Desk

Yes, Not obsessively so, I just feel that 6:00 really means 6:00,  not 6:15 or an hour later.   I won't run anyone down but I'll mentally push them from behind.  "GO! GO! Will you get out of my way!?!  Move it!"  Not surprisingly, I find that I am the only one in a lather to get to wherever I am going, no one else is losing hair over it.
 
By the same token, I dislike being held hostage by another's tardiness. I find it rude and disrespectful to have some one breeze in 30 minutes late saying,  " Oh, I just stopped for a coffee and ran into So and So and we had a nice little chat."  This is where my patience, of which I have not enough, tends to steam and threaten to boil over.  If I have anywhere to go that might involve a traffic delay, I take that into consideration and plan accordingly and always carry my Ipod in case things go right.

A person should be good to their word.  If one says “I'll be there at 9:00,” one should make the effort to be there, unless some major THING happens.  If I  say “I'll see you Around 9:00,”  now, that's a different cat :) 

Do you get places on time, or do you tend to take things at your own pace?

Worthy Reads
*Age Is Just A Number.
*Porn or No Porn.
*Our Capacity To Transform.