What did you want to be when you grew up?
When I was a child that topic came up around the dinner table often and my answer would always be, "I don't know."
In my high school and college days I still didn't know. For me, this was a painful experience. When I'd talk to people who knew what they wanted to be at a young age I'd feel a twinge of jealousy. "Wow," I'd think, "What a blessing."
In the end I discovered that what I wanted was to know God. Not the God of the scriptures, but the God of my being. I wanted to know why I was here and what this whole thing was about.
So I suppose, what I want to be is 'happy'.
It was for me and apparently it was for you as well. Perhaps it was simply the path we were meant to take. One thing for sure, it is the path I took and although it proved difficult, it has given much in return.