I shaved my head.
I think it is a great time to get ready for the summer.
It had been quite hot for quite a while.
I feel better and comfortable with my new cut. But my younger sister said "You look like a Yahoo Messenger (Icon)! "
Well, I think It suits me, since the less I have to do to keep my appearance up the better! :)
I have strong and deep internal desire to ask certain questions. It is unavoidable to me to ask them. I would neglect myself if I wouldn't. That is the reason I ask them. This doesn't mean I need to answer them though. The word 'quest' comes to my mind in this context.
I already knew for a while and recently experienced deeply that it's the journey, not the goal it's all about. I am on a quest to find things out along the way and a question that is phrased and rephrased guides me on this path.
About 3:30 yesterday morning, I awoke from a dream and the dream had a message that lingered in my mind all day and into this day where I seem to have had some reasonable signs.
I hardly ever remember my dreams and blow them off if I do as some nonsense struggling to get out.
This particular message has clung like a cockle-burr though, and I have put much thought into it. The Message was that if I could put no faith in my Faith, it is very shallow indeed. If I can't or won't step out on Faith, I can be tying my own hands and hobbling my feet with disbelief. I cannot predict my future but people have given up more for their Faith and shown to have been right in doing so, than I ever have. If I hamper myself with stone hard negativity, who can I blame, Me or the Master of the Universe?
I try to be a practical person, I am not considered flighty or undependable, I am afraid that my desire to do something is so strong that it has begun to color my reason. So It has been thrown out to the Universe, and should be settled by this evening.
I don't know. I really don't.
I had been thinking about who I am ever since I can remember and often that question has troubled me deeply.
Perhaps in the asking of that question there comes a point, or maybe it's just me, that the information of that answer seems too large.
That knowing only little about it and acting on that would seem to instead take you away from who you really are.
I decided that being honest with myself was enough, and that even though I would not know who I am, I am being myself.
Who do you think you are?
It is true that Love brings me the most joy, but pain and sorrow probably led me to a deeper understanding of who and what I am... what it means to be human.
One emotion on its own is rather boring because it can not be truly experienced or understood without its direct opposite -- the full range of emotions that come with it. Even if I'm not trying to dwell on any negative emotion, being open to seemingly uncomfortable ones makes me appreciate the positive emotions all the more.
People confuse me ... or should I say their behavior confuses me.
Many say that they want change, but when change happens they lash out and cry foul.
It is not uncommon for people to ask me to help them change and when they do change they lash out at me.
Maybe I'm in the wrong business.
You are what you think.
If we are what we eat, as the old saying goes,
we may also be what we think. Or how we think, as well as how much we think.
Toledo, John Ahmer
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